The Billy Mac Show!

Brides-to-be never run out of ways to abuse themselves in search of the perfect wedding.       

Apparently, some engaged women are getting FEEDING TUBES implanted in their NOSTRILS to help them lose weight before their wedding. 

The tube goes down their esophagus, into their stomach, and gives them a 10-day drip of 800 calories a day, and no carbohydrates. 2,000 calories a day is recommended . . . below 1,200 is considered dangerous.

This procedure has been happening in Italy and Spain for years, but it's just started gaining popularity in the U.S.  Side effects include dizziness, constipation, and bad breath. Oh, and it can cause kidney stones and dehydration..

So How Much Is YOUR Momma Worth???

In preparation for Mother's Day next month, Salary.com did their annual calculation of how much the average mom should be paid.

The average stay-at-home mom puts in a 94.7-hour work week, two hours LESS than they worked last year. Based on the market value for the work she does, someone owes her a $112,962 annual salary. That's 2% lower than last year.   

Working moms got a raise this year. They spend 57.9 hours working as a mom after getting home from their day job. That would work out to a $66,979 salary and is 5% higher than last year for two hours of more work. 

Here's a calculator where you can find out how much the mom in your life is worth.

FIVE STRANGE WAYS TO DEAL WITH ALLERGIES:

#1) Shampoo Your Eyelashes. Pollen clings to them, then slowly makes its way into your eyes. But researchers at Long Island Hospital in Brooklyn found that washing your eyelashes with baby shampoo twice a day can reduce redness, itching and puffiness by as much as 90%. 

#2) Eat Yogurt. Scientists in Italy found that two cups of plain yogurt a day can prevent flare-ups and reduce symptoms by 40% or more. The "good" bacteria in yogurt helps your body produce more anti-inflammatory proteins. Those proteins help your immune system stay calm when it encounters pollen or other things that might cause an allergic reaction.
 

#3) Drink Iced Tea. The antioxidants stop your body from producing a major allergy trigger called "immunoglobulin E". Black OR green tea is fine. Try to drink at least 24 ounces a day.
 

#4) Wear Clothing That's All Cotton. The reason dust clings to your TV screen is because the screen builds up a static charge that pulls in dust particles while they're floating around in the air. Synthetic materials like polyester and nylon do the same thing when they rub against each other.  Which means you could walk around outside for a few hours without touching anything . . . but still be COVERED in pollen. Cotton and linen attract about half as much.
 

#5) Avoid Certain Foods. In PEAK allergy season, the proteins in some foods . . . including apples, carrots, zucchini, celery, and tomatoes . . . can make allergies even worse. It's called "cross-reactivity," and affects about one-third of people who have issues with pollen. If you don't WANT to give up those foods, just make sure you cook them.  Heat breaks down the specific proteins that are responsible for it.

I QUIT:

I got a kick outta this! Some guy thought it would be fun to go around to different businesses and tell them he was quitting . . . even though he'd never worked there. And some of the reactions were pretty great.

A few people flat out KNEW he didn't work for them, but the rest were totally confused . . . because he played it off like he'd been working there for months, and everyone had ignored him.

The manager of a Burger King actually told him to give it a little more time, and said she'd make sure people were nicer to him. Then when he asked if he should still come in on Tuesday, she said yes.