Josh Roberts Blog

MIRANDA LAMBERT: Excuse Me, Stewardess...

Miranda Lambert passed the time on a flight to Los Angeles Monday night by Tweeting the play-by-play. It doesn't sound like she was having fun, but it made for some funny reading. Here goes:

• "Dear airports, you suck."
• "At least I'm on the plane with Martina McBride. But she is sitting with Angaleena Presley and I'm next to a random dude. Not fair."
• "Also on our plane, Billy Ray Cyrus. Watch out L.A., country comes to town."
• "Oh good. We are back at the gate because the secondary engine light was blinking. At least bring me a Bacardi or three."
• "Random dude asked me to talk to his daughter on the phone. Now he is kissing into the phone. Now talking sports. Um...headphones. ASAP."
• "Random dude is Mark. He is nice and smells good at least."
• "Plane fixed, whew!" Mark (random dude) graduated from Alabama -- Roll Tide -- and has two kids. His girl, Sydney, is 13 and loves country."
• "The lady in front of me, her daughter goes there. I know a ton about that school now..."
• "I look like a crazy person cracking myself up. Delirious from a long day, I guess. Mark and Sally are my new friends. (She looks like a Sally)."
• "Update: Mark and 'Sally' are real nice. The guy next to Sally has been spraying rose water and stinking up first class for five hours. The couple across the aisle got tired of it, and the guy is having a meltdown. He told 'Rose Water' loudly that that smells awful."
• "Oh Lord. 'Rose Water' just spilled his drink and took some sort of pills afterwards. Please get me out of here. Descending now."
• "Oh good. We're stuck on the runway in L.A. Oh God help us. 'Rose Water' pulled out his zip lock. Don't...don't...it's happening."