Quid Pro Quo: an exchange with a presumption of something in return. Sometimes that can be goods or services and other times it can be information.
Bro Code: an etiquette to be followed by men. This can mean a lot of things like, in a mens room it is every other urinal, you don’t stand next to a guy while he is peeing and you certainly don’t talk. It also means that we try to keep each other out of trouble or at least try to minimize it.
I don’t know if the following is a violation of those two rules but it certainly feels like it. Before we get too much into it I want to say that I am happy for them and can’t wait to be there!
It’s the holiday season and that means…cookies, presents and getting engaged under the mistletoe. It happens every year. I bet your facebook feed has at least 3 people that got engaged over this past week and there will probably be one or two more on new years eve. Well this year my brother and his long time girlfriend were one of those couples that got engaged! YAY! I can’t wait for the party! But…….he didn’t tell me ahead of time. If you’re not aware this is kind of common among men to tell the guys close to them that it is coming so they can then do something romantic for their women. It is just a way of avoiding the “awww…well it looks like THEY know how to do romance”. Not that I get that sort of grief from my wife but, I digress.
Does it matter that he didn’t tell me? No
Would I have given him so great advice or warning that would have changed things? No
So does it bother me that he didn’t tell me…. a little.
Let’s rewind to 2014 when I decided I was going to propose to my girlfriend, now wife. I knew in July that I was going to propose after I found the perfect ring and had it paid for. I called and told my brother in July. He and his girlfriend have been together a LOT longer than Jenni and I and I knew that if I popped the question he was going to get killed! Seriously. So I gave him four months notice. He was able to do many romantic things and he saved himself because he had a heads up. Fast forward to now, obviously I am married and Jenni is incredibly cool about these things, in fact she is very happy for them. So I was never in any danger of being shamed or nagged about it. So it really doesn’t matter if he told me or not but, a piece of me feels like he should have. Am I crazy? Did I reveal too much “Bro Code”? Probably to both of those questions.